Tuesday, January 13, 2015

worry

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

It sure feels these days like each day has *more* than enough trouble of its own. Lots of bad news - many killed, many treated unjustly, much hate. So much hate. And that's just the world that shows up on my news feed and through radio waves. It says nothing of the chaos in my own home. To be honest, if I really sat down and listed things out, I have it pretty darn good. Two sweet babes, a loving, patient and often kind husband, a home, food on the table, love. Lots of love. But even in the midst of this loveliness, trouble can be felt at moments. When they cry, loudly, at the same time, and I have to triage *who* will get my attention first. Lack of energy to even talk at the end of the day sometimes. Constant, constant mess. Having to figure out *how* to put all this food together into something that resembles a meal. I suppose it's not so much actual trouble as the edges of my privilege showing, right?

And looking ahead to a group of women that I have helped gather together to try and help me focus on something outside myself, outside of something that directly impacts me on a daily basis. We meet on February 20th next, and we hope to pool small sacrificial amounts together to give to other women, sisters, across the world and locally who are at risk of human trafficking. The idea is simple: only meeting three times each year, not giving *additional* money, but choosing something to sacrifice instead, and no particular plans for food at our meetings. And yet, I still find myself in a place of so much worry about how this next meeting will go! So when I look at my life and in particular at this group that we have started, it's so helpful that Jesus' words came through - "do not worry about tomorrow". He doesn't say "don't plan"...but it's helpful to be reminded that when it comes to taking care of my kids and my life, that my focus is to be on today, right now. The tasks that need to happen for the meeting can happen one at a time. Focus on getting one done, then focus on the next. Focusing on twenty things at a time only leads me to feeling frozen because I can't decide which step to take next. So. Just today. Just this one day.